In a world of situationships, low-effort texting, and “go with the flow” dating, the art of traditional courtship seems to be on life support. But let’s be real—dating without intention, effort, and commitment is just an emotional gamble that rarely pays off.
Somewhere along the way, we stopped expecting actual effort from potential partners. Instead, we started accepting bare-minimum energy, like vague late-night texts, endless “wyd” messages, and being stuck in months-long “talking stages” that lead nowhere. But here’s the thing—you are not an option. You are the prize. And the prize doesn’t chase.
Effort First, Everything Else Later
A man who truly wants you will have no problem proving it. He will make plans, be consistent, and show up—not just when it’s convenient for him, but because he values you.
Too many people today skip the actual dating process and fast-track their way into attachment, thinking that chemistry alone is enough to build something real. But attraction without effort is just a temporary thrill. If someone hasn’t even taken the time to properly date you, how can they possibly be worthy of your trust, affection, or time?
Let’s make this clear:
- Dates before intimacy. Being wined, dined, and pursued isn’t outdated—it’s the bare minimum.
- Consistency before priority. No one should be a “top priority” in your life without proving they deserve that spot.
- Action before attachment. Words mean nothing without intentional effort behind them.
Let People Show You Who They Are
People reveal their true selves over time, not overnight. That’s why courting matters—it allows you to observe, assess, and decide whether someone’s actions align with their words. If they’re not willing to put in effort now, imagine how much effort they’ll give once they feel like they “have” you.
Rushing into something without seeing a person’s true character is like signing a contract before reading the fine print—you have no idea what you’re actually committing to.
Why Settling for Less Never Ends Well
Giving access to your time, energy, or emotions without a man proving he’s serious about you is a losing game. The ones who come in with half-hearted effort, ambiguous intentions, and casual energy? They will take what they can get and leave you with confusion, disappointment, and wasted time.
Instead, set a standard:
- If he’s serious, he’ll show you.
- If he’s playing games, you’ll see it.
- If he’s not putting in effort, he’s not an option.
Love isn’t supposed to feel like a constant guessing game. If you’re sitting there wondering, “Does he like me? Is he serious? Where is this going?”—he’s already failed the test.
High Standards Aren’t Unrealistic—They’re Necessary
We’ve been conditioned to think that expecting effort, consistency, and proper dating is “too much”—but in reality, lowering your standards just guarantees disappointment.
A man who’s truly interested and intentional won’t view courting as a chore—he’ll see it as a privilege. Because a woman who knows her worth doesn’t beg for attention—she expects respect.
So let the people who love bare-minimum dating, breadcrumbing, and low-effort connections stay in that lane. You? You’re raising the bar.
Final Thoughts
Dating should be intentional, exciting, and fulfilling. You deserve to be pursued properly, valued deeply, and loved fully. Don’t let modern dating culture make you forget that.