How to Fully Enjoy Being a Mum While Still Preparing for the Life That Comes After
Motherhood is one of the most beautifully all-consuming experiences a woman can have. You give birth to a child, yes — but you also give birth to a new version of yourself. One that loves harder, feels deeper, and sacrifices more than you ever thought possible.
But here’s what I learned — the hard way, lovingly:
You were never meant to lose yourself completely. And you don’t have to feel guilty for preserving the parts of you that don’t wear the title “mum.”
The Season That Swallows You Whole — And Why It Feels So Right
When I had my son, I dove head-first into motherhood. I was all in — as most of us are. Every part of my life revolved around him. From morning routines to career decisions to how I socialised (or didn’t), he was the centre of my world. And truthfully? I loved it.
I embraced the chaos, the quiet, the growth, the exhaustion, the gummy smiles, the long nights. But somewhere along the way, I began to feel a subtle ache…
Like I’d misplaced pieces of myself and didn’t know when or how I’d find them again.
The Myth That Good Mothers Should Give Up Everything
There’s a silent, toxic belief wrapped around motherhood like a vine:
“A good mum sacrifices everything.”
But what if I told you that the best thing you could do for your child — and yourself — is to stop abandoning your identity?
To teach your children by example that women are allowed to grow, evolve, and explore their own lives too?
Yes, your child will always be your heart outside your body — but you are still you outside of your child.
Motherhood Is a Chapter, Not the Whole Book
Here’s the plot twist no one warns you about:
Your child won’t need you in the same way forever.
They grow. Fast.
And one day, you’ll look up and realise they’re spending more time out with friends than they are curled up in your arms. That’s not failure — that’s success. You raised them to thrive in the world.
But when that shift happens, the real question becomes:
Will you know who you are again?
How to Enjoy Motherhood Without Losing Yourself
Let me be clear: You can absolutely be a devoted, nurturing, present mother and still honour your personal dreams. The two are not opposites — they are companions. Here’s how:
1. Schedule Joy Just for You
Carve out guilt-free space to do something just because you enjoy it — even if it’s 15 minutes with a book, your skincare routine, or a solo walk in silence.
2. Invest in Your Identity Outside of “Mum”
Whether it’s a side hustle, a digital course, or just reawakening a past hobby, treat your interests like they matter — because they do. You’re still a woman with passions, not just a caregiver.
3. Talk to Your Child About Your Goals
Let them see that mummy has dreams too. They will admire you for it, and it will model healthy boundaries and self-worth.
4. Build Your Life for the “After”
This one hits deep. One day, they’ll leave. They’re supposed to. Start shaping a life you’ll love even when the nest is empty — friendships, creative pursuits, maybe travel or entrepreneurship.
Preparing for “Child-Free” Doesn’t Make You Less Devoted
Let’s kill the guilt right here:
Preparing for life after motherhood does not mean you love your child any less.
It means you love yourself enough to not disappear.
You are allowed to dream about the next chapter while still cherishing this one.
You are allowed to prepare your wings while nurturing theirs.
And you are allowed to still be someone outside of your child — someone vibrant, curious, sexy, driven, peaceful, or ambitious.
The Truth No One Tells You
There will come a time when your child will need you less. And that moment might come with a quiet sadness… or a new sense of freedom. Maybe both.
And you know what? You don’t need to panic when it happens — if you’ve already spent time building a life that’s more than just one role.
Because when motherhood starts to loosen its grip a little — when school becomes boarding school, or they get their own friends, or move to uni — you’ll still have your own heartbeat to return to.
Final Thoughts: You Are Worth Knowing, Again
This blog isn’t to scare you. It’s to remind you that you can be fully present in the magic of motherhood without vanishing into it.
Let your child witness what it looks like to love deeply — and also to honour yourself.
Because one day, when they’re older and reflecting on you, I hope they say:
“My mum loved me fully… but she also loved herself. And that made me love her even more.”
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